I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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