Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
