My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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