i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
