My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
