She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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