They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize