I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
