my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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