I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
