Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
