its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
