There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
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i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
either way he was missing a nipple.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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Sorry about my life...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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