i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I believe in your delicious
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
