I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
