I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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