Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
