yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize
