Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
