some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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