New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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