the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
