remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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