two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
