so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
