he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
