69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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