I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Pooping to opera.
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