IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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