I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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