i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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