Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
