I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
