I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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