we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
