Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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