i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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