we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
