who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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