So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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