i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
