yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
