I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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