In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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