ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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