I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
only you would photoshop your dick
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
