I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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