Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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