Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
