wanna go halves on a baby?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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