The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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