no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
