That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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