Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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