Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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