Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
