Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
