p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
