I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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