A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
