Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
