Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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