First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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