Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I currently don't understand fingers.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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