I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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