Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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