mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
