So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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