if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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