and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
